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Joke of the Day

"Islam is.. ..a religion of peace"

"I added broccoli to my kid's Mac n Cheese and now he's sitting in a spinny chair, petting a hairless cat and plotting his revenge."

"What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire? Mourning wood"

"Hillary Clinton has been so embarrassed about her email scandal that if elected she will bring back the secure channels of communication she used growing up... the pony express."

"What do you call 24 carrots? Edible gold."

"Me: Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms? Kids: WE DO! YAY!"

"Personal Trainer- So how have you been cutting your carbs? Me-Mostly with a bread knife or a pizza slicer"

"French Joke Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama? A. So the French can show them how to surrender."

"What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder? I've heard of it but don't know what it means?"

"Whats the difference between a nun and a whore in a bathtub? One has a soul full of hope..."