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Joke of the Day

"Anybody wanna play Pearl Harbour? I lay down and you blow me to heavens!"

"Hey, did you guys know Vicodin *isn't* like Flinstones chewables, at all."

"What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days? They're both Decomposing"

"Dad, what's a Freudian slip? Well son, it's when you say one thing and mean your Mother...I mean another."

"Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children"

"There was a prison break and I locked eyes with a midget as he climbed up the fence. As he jumped over he sneered at me and I thought, ""Well, that's a little condescending."""

"is Quentin Tarantino directing 2016?"

"""Hey."" ""Hey."" ""What's up?"" ""Nothing."" END OF CONVERSATION."

"Cop: Know why I stopped u? Cuz u JUST CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE? Cop: I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE STARTED FIGHTIN FOOOR For speeding."

"So, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, right? I guess that's when the books started getting *dead Sirius*"