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Joke of the Day
"What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days? They're both Decomposing"
Next Joke
"Which faction in Divergent has the largest number of lamborghinis? Erudite because they like knowledge a lot more than materialistic things"
"My father complained ""I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."" Dad, you're using Uber."
"Is it solipsistic in here? or is it just me?"
"I remember my first crush..: Orange."
"The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet."
"Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? - A: It stole the show!"
"It's too bad the meaning of life is 141 characters."
"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""
"I won't do standup right now... Let me wipe my ass first."