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Joke of the Day

"Drive-thru worker just recoiled in horror when I rolled down my window & she got walloped by a bucket of moist farts."

"In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized."

"Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. So GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE!"

"what you call a Chinese man with a camera? Phil ming"

"Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate."

"Lady, you misunderstood. When I asked if you would have my kids I didn't mean sex and babies. I meant take the ones I already have."

"Why did the paedophilic bestialist not answer his name? Because he was feeling a little horse."

"The first thing I do in the shower is wash my asshole. Just wanna get that shit out of the way."

"How do you call 8 Hobbits? A Hobbyte"

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come onto a boy's face until he's 13."