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Joke of the Day

"I'm developing a hand sanitizer that only kills the 00.01% of germs that the others can't kill. I'm going to make a fortune!"

"Now that Ted Cruz dropped out, there is only one man standing in Trump's way Hilary Clinton"

"Why do Jews never deck the halls on christmas? Because of the holly cost."

"Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it it's not so hot."

"Everyone's gynecologist uses the term battle damage,' right?"

"This is a motherfucking website. http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/"

":( turn that frown upside down ):"

"I'm opening a funeral home that has a bar in it. I know right?"

"Son: ""Dad! I answered a question today in class that no-one else could answer!"" Dad: ""That's my boy! What was the question?"" Son: ""Who's farted"""

"I've been reading a book about anti-gravity. Man, I just can't put this thing down."