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Joke of the Day
"This is a motherfucking website. http://motherfuckingwebsite.com/"
Next Joke
"Ever see a bottle of TUMS in the mirror? You'll run out of windex..."
"[watching TV] GF: Tickle my back please ME: Is that nice? GF: Little bit higher ME: [very slightly squeaky voice] Is that nice?"
"Pepper spray does not taste like pepper."
"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing and delivery"
"What did the zero say to the eight? ""Nice belt, fuckface."""
"I'm abandoning Obamacare for Bidencare. Everyone gets a sixer of Natty Light, 2 copies of Hustler from 1978 and a VHS copy of Caddyshack."
"*whispers to old lady at Starbucks* one time they ran out of coffee here and we ate a baby"
"Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates. That's why vegans can only say ""i'm vegan""."
"What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ? A guard dog !"