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Joke of the Day

"Apparently if you call out your own name while masturbating they will kick you off this ferris wheel."

"My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more."

"A handicapped guy walks into a bar................just kidding."

"ELI5 How easy is it to get into watching NETFLIX... ...when I haven't even seen NETFL**I** - NETFL**VIII**"

"Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them! ARRRRGHHHH FUCK YOU POPSICLE STICK JOKE"

"Why did the groom want his bride to wear white? He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge."

"Killing the earth Arrogant humans, you are not killing the earth. The earth is attempting to kill you."

"Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones."

"Found another spider in my bedroom, so now I'm on the curb watching my house burn down."

"Why do feminists hate the post the USPS? Cause it's an all mail business."