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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend says she needs time and distance... Is she calculating velocity?"
Next Joke
"[At historic site] Guide: Questions? Me: What's the wifi password? G: I meant about 19th century life. M: Oh....Dost thou have thy password?"
"Mr. Buffalo: I caught my son making out with a girl Me: SWEET! Mr. Buffalo: And a boy Me: So, I guess you could say he's your... Bi-son"
"How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear."
"If fire hydrants have H2O inside them, what do they have outside? K9P"
"I did a Marquez impression in the hood... ... I was the magical realest."
"A group of IPhones walk into a bar Bartender: Get out! IPhones: Why? Bartender: I know you don't have any money! IPhones: How? Bartender: Because all you Apple products lost your Jobs years ago!"
"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her."
"You can fart openly as long as you're always holding a whoopee cushion."
"my favorite game is called ""Secret Family."" I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me"