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Joke of the Day

"They say people couldn't have everything because they don't have enough space to put it, I say 'everything' includes a bag with infinite space so I can put everything in easily."

"Asian stereotypes: Samsung, Sony, Sanyo."

"I'm not stalking you. I'm trying to help you find that sock that you dropped behind the door before you left for work Wednesday at 7:04."

"Always check the height of any nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders.... How I learned this is not important..."

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow? He got snowed in."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight."

"Do you know why it's called the Holy Land? Because it's full of bullet holes."

"Slaves be like ""Oh, you worked four years for your Bachelors?"" I worked 50 for my Masters"

"TIFU by mixing condiments up. This is seems to be the wrong sub."

"Quick tax question: Does giving thousands of dollars to charity last year make up for lying about it this year?"