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Joke of the Day

"""Whoo, take off your tits!"" -confused pervert"

"Why did the vampire use mouthwash? Because he had bat breath"

"Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!"

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"Thinking about getting a liver piercing. Gotta stay extreme."

"A midget psychic escaped prison today... Authorities claim there's a small medium at large."

"For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter. I guess she is claw-straw-phobic..."

"Two native-american boys are walking through a forest One spots a bug on the ground, points to it and says to the other, ""ew, squash it!"" The other says, ""no, i'm pretty sure it's a bug."""

"What happens to crude people? Crucified."

"[Serious] what are the serious impacts of drinking water just after you had had a wet dream?"