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Joke of the Day

"For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter. I guess she is claw-straw-phobic..."

"If you want to find a needle in a haystack, burn the haystack."

"How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Bush did it."

"[being carried away by a colony of ants] haha nice let's see where this goes"

"Why does the new new French navy have glass bottomed boats? So they can see the old French navy."

"Cinco de Mayo means five of mayonnaise in Spanish."

"Research has shown that girls do NOT go to Jupiter to get more stupider. They actually go to Venus. For uh, *shuffles papers* for stuff"

"Here we go, funniest joke I know... So a man wins a divorce settlement."

"I bet if a soccer announcer sees a monster, he probably yells: ""GHOOOOUL!"""

"Can't believe it's the Chinese New Year. I'm still writing Rabbit on all of my checks."