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Joke of the Day

"For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter. I guess she is claw-straw-phobic..."

"What do you call a Nun in a Wheelchair? Virgin Mobile."

"Why did the bicycle fall down? Because it was too tired"

"I'm trying to find a job cleaning mirrors It's something I could really see myself doing"

"Floyd Mayweather got off again even when there was a video of him beating her. Because it was so boring the jury walked out half way through."

"Waiter, I'll have what he's having. Ok sir. One fly in your soup. Anything else?"

"My Grandparents bought a new China set... They asked me what I thought of it... I said it was fine..."

"wife: ""remember when i said you were too friendly all the time?"" me: [making cup of tea] ""no im not"" burglar: ""two sugars please"""

"What did Al Gore play on his guitar? An algorithm."

"I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."