71761

Joke of the Day

"From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, ""Hmm... I've seen better."""

"TIL That there was a German warship during WW2 that accidentally sunk 34 friendly submarines. Edit:Whoops, wrong sub."

"I saw a woman breastfeeding her baby on the bus today... And the lady beside me started freaking out. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best time for a wank."

"What's the most redundant sentence you can come up with? -department of redundancy department"

"Of course I touch myself when I think about you It's called a face palm"

"I'm sexually attracted to biceps. Does that make me biceptual?"

"She's Smart! ""You are so kind, funny and beautiful."" ""Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed."" ""And smart, too!"""

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who pee in the shower, those who don't, and those who didn't realize this joke was in trinary."

"When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it's 'for here', not 'to go'. Then ask them to hurry."

"I just got a bunch of cool apps and games for my Windows Phone"