50892

Joke of the Day

"Excuse me, do you have a valentine's card that says ""You're the love of my life""? - Yes. - Great. Give me 10."

"If your clock strikes 13, what time is it? time to fix your clock."

"I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it'"

"Do you know why the ""deez nuts"" guy is in prison? He's nuts."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning."

"Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature? First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare"

"Someone asked me if I'd found my soulmate and I was like lol I cant even find my debit card."

"I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am."

"Wives are also like hurricanes... When they come they're wet and wild, when they leave they take your house and your car."

"why did the scarecrow get a promotion? he was outstanding in his field"