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Joke of the Day

"She's Smart! ""You are so kind, funny and beautiful."" ""Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed."" ""And smart, too!"""

"Have you tried that new cocktail called Hurricane Sandy? It's just a watered down Manhattan."

"When couples tell me they're taking their relationship to the next level, I just assume they're gonna start throwing cutlery at each other."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Castro ! Castro who ? Castro bread upon the waters !"

"Instagram would have been a good name for a weed delivery service"

"A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them! They named him Ravi O. Lee Sorry"

"I just took the garbage out. In 3D."

"Q: What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth? A: Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics how to ruin the people!"

"I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision."

"Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work."