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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a hatred for large plants? Bigotree"

"My wife treats me like an idol she feeds me burnt offerings"

"Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a ""God PLEASE bless America"", maybe you'd have better luck. #manners"

"Please ignore this tweet, I'm pretending to be adding a coworker's phone number."

"Guy asks his friend: ""I heard you were out til 5 am last night. You must have been partying pretty hard?"" Friend: ""Did you just assume my bender?!"""

"[Cat Businessmen] ""Geez, Phil, you look exhausted. Being a new father is tough, huh."" *sighs* I only got 16 hours of sleep last night."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can? Because his wife died."

"I had heard the rumors of clowns being spotted all over the country... But I honestly didn't believe it until I saw them debate each other on TV."

"""Bacon gives you cancer"" is the 2015 version of ""touching yourself causes blindness."""

"smdh at dollhouses without stairs between the different floors. Hows that going to work, dumb-ass."