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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock down a cheerleader's throat"

"Why is every boob job the same? Two round boobs. Switch it up ladies. Someone get two Belgian waffles or something."

"""ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab--no ice-- no thats definitly a babey"" - man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey"

"Why didnt the toilet paper cross the road? because it was stuck in a crack"

"a sphincter says what? pants up, dont poop."

"Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors."

"Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador"

"Cats REALLY hate dryers. However, Patches has Never looked this fluffy"

"""Here kid. I hope you like not getting laid until college because your bedroom is a giant dinosaur now."" -extreme home makeover"

"Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target."