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Joke of the Day
"""Bacon gives you cancer"" is the 2015 version of ""touching yourself causes blindness."""
Next Joke
"""Shit, I have to go."" - Yoda, Jedi Master Humorist, iChat"
"I wish every time I made eye contact the Super Mario coin sound happened."
"Why did the Polish get selected to be in so many jokes back in the day?"
"I have a weird fungal infection on my foot... I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me."
"If you need anything you can call me any time of the day or night. I won't answer and my ringer will be off, so it won't bother me at all."
"I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported."
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef!! What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MUM!!"
"Do you know what a girl says when she sees a big...NSFW Do you know what a girl says when she sees a big dick? *when the person says: 'no what'* I do"
"What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common? It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick."