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Joke of the Day
"My wife treats me like an idol she feeds me burnt offerings"
Next Joke
"Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes."
"*accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*"
"The Declaration of Independence was NOT written in Philadelphia. it was written in ink"
"Why do stoners love English? Because it's lit"
"One day a wife complained.. ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied, ""The darn clock always was slow."""
"They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs."
"Mission Impossible Six announced. Will be their hardest mission yet... Getting a job in this economy."
"Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?"
"What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire? Roasting a chicken."