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Joke of the Day

"Guy asks his friend: ""I heard you were out til 5 am last night. You must have been partying pretty hard?"" Friend: ""Did you just assume my bender?!"""

"I got my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. I know it's not the greatest gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest"

"What are you doing? I'm trying to call Washington! Oh haven't you heard? He's dead!"

"I submitted 10 of my best puns to a Joke competition expecting at least 1 to win, but... No pun in ten did.."

"Typical coworkers. They complain about management, but when it's time to dispose of the boss's body, they all pretend to be working."

"Islamophobia is a lot like acrophobia ... understandable to an extent."

"The heart attack when you're in bed almost sleeping, holding your phone in your hand and it suddenly vibrates."

"I accidentally hit my head on a window today... It was paneful."

"Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet? Har e-potter."