71635

Joke of the Day

"When you go to the movies first thing you need to do is pour a drink in the seat in front of you so nobody can sit there.."

"I got an anonymous letter today. Oh really - who was it from?!"

"Husband: Let's talk about it when we're not tired and cranky. Me: So, in like 18 years?"

"my mom's house is like the one in Home Alone except all the booby traps are emotional"

"Russian joke ""Daddy I want an ice cream."" ""I want an ice cream too, son. But we only have enough money for vodka."""

"I keep a length of dental floss inside my perpetually furrowed brow."

"Who did the ghost-boy write to during his trip to ghost-summercamp? There is no afterlife."

"My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry."

"Question: What's the major cause of divorce? Answer: Once is not enough."

"My Asian friend came out .. My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said ""Dad I'm gay"" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, ""why not Gay+"""