71550

Joke of the Day

"Just because this is a public space doesn't mean my tweets are meant for ALL of you to read! Please respect my privacy at this time!!!"

"Superman: "" I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive"" Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown"

"A roman guy enters a bar, raises two fingers... And say to the bartender: five beers, please!"

"I invited a girl back to my house for cocktails. She got excited at the thought but left when I started telling her stories about my rooster."

"I was shocked to walk in on my son playing with his privates... Those toy soldiers were supposed to be his surprise birthday gift..."

"My wife just left me because I spent our life savings on a penis enlargement... She couldn't take it any longer"

"What did the slug say to the snail? Would you like a copy of the big issue?"

"I hate niggers"

"Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way? He was galactose intolerant."

"Do you never want the party to end? Now, it doesn't have to! Introducing, DRUGS."