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Joke of the Day

"Do you never want the party to end? Now, it doesn't have to! Introducing, DRUGS."

"A Higgs boson walks into a church, ""We don't allow Higgs bosons in here!"" shouts the priest. ""But without me, how can you have mass?"" asks the particle."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming. EDIT: Also, I don't want my time to go to waist. Courtesy of /u/Carter127"

"Gillette researchers are really the best They got some cutting edge technology"

"Remember not to laugh at your ex wife's choices. You were one of them."

"I found out why amphibious cars never caught on. They were always getting toad."

"Why is the sea salty? Because the land does not wave back."

"People who live in stone houses can throw all the glass they want."

"What do you call somebody who's attracted to vagrants? A hobosexual."

"I'm a recovering alcoholic! :I'm recovering from last night!"