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Joke of the Day

"I invited a girl back to my house for cocktails. She got excited at the thought but left when I started telling her stories about my rooster."

"Why is Diego's slogan ""Go Diego Go"" It was the last thing his mother said before she got shot by the border patrol"

"If I hear someone crying I immediately cry louder to establish myself as the dominant sad person in the room"

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not five because my basements still dark..."

"I like my women like i like my coffee.. Ground up on the back of an alpaca somewhere in south america."

"Two player prison game Prisoner One: Do you want to play the rape game? Prisoner Two: No! Prisoner One: That's the spirit!"

"What did Nicki Minaj, Hitler and a Feminist say when they walked into a bar? Ouch."

"I bought a treadmill because I ran out of closet space for my clothes."

"I added Paul walker on Xbox He spends all his time on the dashboard"

"I had to put my dog down today... He's getting to damn big to carry."