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Joke of the Day

"Just choked on a apple... Bet a brownie wouldn't have done that.."

"Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name? Because they can't spell toboggan."

"If I die in a fire, I want my last words on my grave... ... ""I won't die, I'm 70% water!"""

"I'm at the age where an ""all-nighter"" means I didn't have to get up to pee"

"Birth Paddy's wife was ready to give birth so he rushes her to hospital.On arrival the nurse asks ""How dilated is she?""To which paddy relies,""Oh Jaysus we""re both over the fucking moon!!..:)"

"What's the difference between ""a choice"" and "" to choose?"" ""A choice"" is a decision you make. ""To choose"" are what Mexicans put on their feet."

"Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? How I bought your mother"

"Reduce stage fright with a little vodka before the show. Bring enough vodka for everyone, and you won't even have to perform."

"Did you know that space has tons of alcohol floating around in it? It's Stellar Artois"

"I don't approve of political jokes I have seen too many of them get elected."