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Joke of the Day
"You think you had a bad day? Clams are getting chowdered. CHOWDERED."
Next Joke
"""How big do you suppose that fence is?"" ""I reckon that fence is around a yard."""
"Math problem: I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now? ""Oh, I do not know, DIABETES MAYBE!"""
"[Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people"
"Atheism is a non-prophet organization."
"*tweet gets 3 rts* please no autographs"
"Whenever someone asks if I'm a robot I tell them no I'm androidgynous."
"Too much of my life is spent trying to think of something to write on people's FB walls for their birthday other than ""Happy Birthday!"""
"How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb? 1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first."
"How do people approach their crush I don't even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup in McDonald's?"