71043

Joke of the Day

"""14 years, 20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope."" ""You mean Collider?"" ""Oh shit!"""

"I'm reading a book on Anti-Gravity... And it's impossible to put down."

"Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too."

"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with *""were you even listening to me? ""*"

"dog: i saw u out there me: what? dog: i saw u pet the neighbor dog me: i was just dog: did u rub his belly? DID U ASK IF HE WAS A GOOD BOY?"

"My 4 year old said he wants to go to JFK for some chicken. He won't be majoring in history."

"What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"I took a poop in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn't punch them in the head as soon as they got here."

"I scaled Everest! And I give nicknames to fish."