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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish."

"How did Jack grow his portfolio? He invested in beanstocks!"

"What is the highest form of flattery? A plateau"

"I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice"

"In the midst of all this negativity and hate please take comfort in remembering that I have a 5 star uber passenger rating"

"What did the old Kentucky colonel say when he got his Viagra? The south shall rise again!"

"Hey...quick question, fellas: Does it still count as leg day if you just shaved them?"

"What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach? Microwaves!"

"Jewish jokes. 1: How do you pick up a Jewish girl? - A dustpan 2: How do you get a Jewish girl's number? - Roll up her sleeve."

"The EU referendum I liken the EU referendum to being in a pitch black room with two men in a mandatory rape scenario with both of them telling you theirs is the smallest."