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Joke of the Day

"What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach? Microwaves!"

"Crazy documentary about two people who are stalker-obsessed with '80s teen idol Tiffany."

"It's not often that one gets the opportunity to speak about someone intelligent, respected and admired. Unfortunately tonight I have to talk about (NAME)."

"What do you get when a Game of Thrones character sets up your photo studio? Stark lighting."

"Finally made it with a Chinese midget .. It didn't last Tu Long though"

"My age is very inappropriate for my behavior."

"We'd be scared of beavers if trees screamed."

"The owl knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a toostie-roll-pop. Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a 5,000 pound boulder."

"Keep in mind that parenting guides are written by people with enough free time & financial resources to write a parenting guide."

"Why did the Jews roam the desert for 400 years? Someone lost a quarter."