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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds."
Next Joke
"[family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK"
"What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise? High Seas Dead People"
"Someone asked Trump how he planned to build the wall he said ""On the day I got elected 60 million people shit a brick and Mexico agreed to pay for the mortar"""
"A carnival worker plans to sue after recently being fired. His lawyers say it is a clear case of funfair dismissal."
"Girls. Don't get upset if your twitter crush stars a really hot girl or even retweets her cause she is prolly really a dude. Stay calm."
"What do nosey peppers do? They get Jalapeno business!"
"How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy."
"I just laid on my cat's keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation."
"Love is like Wi-Fi You can't see it, but you'll know when you lose it."