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Joke of the Day

"How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy."

"I just removed all my German friends from my phone Now I have a Hans-free device"

"TIFU: I posted my FU in /r/jokes"

"Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough."

"Before you do that- think, Would an idiot do that? Then, don't do that."

"Guy getting on elevator in my office building.."" Going Down?"" Me: ""No, but I've got time for a hug"""

"What did a propeller say to Howard Hughes? I'm a big fan."

"What kind of Bees make milk? Boobies."

"My doctor gave me six months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill. He gave me another six months."

"My friend is a med student, and decided to go into oncology Apparently it's a growth industry."