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Joke of the Day

"A drug dealer sold me his shoes today I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day"

"I think I'm going to give away my old Dyson vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust."

"Girls pants are like a cheap hotel... ... no ballroom."

"How do you get Americans to join a World War? Tell them it's nearly finished."

"The fastest way to get to the front of the line at Starbucks is just to tell everyone you saw Adele outside."

"I hate jokes about disabled people They can't even stand up for themselves"

"The longest relationship I've had is with my first vibrator. We were together 7 years. Off and on."

"What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Cross country."

"9 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"What happened to Loki after he wath hit in hith fathe with Odin'th Hammer? He became Thor."