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Joke of the Day
"I hate jokes about disabled people They can't even stand up for themselves"
Next Joke
"I met a one-legged waitress at IHOP... Her name was Ilene."
"SOMEBODY: she had a boyfriend who looked like that girlfriend that you had in february of last year ME: what the hell are you talking about"
"Figure skating is so gay. That's it, Olympics, I'm switching over to Project Runway."
"My wife saw someone kill horses in Minecraft and she is making me build a Minecraft memorial for dead Minecraft animals."
"What's the difference between the holocaust and killing 5 black men? 5,999,997"
"Instead of complaining that it's hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now."
"911: What's you're emergency? ME: You mean ""your""? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone's murdering me 911: You mean ""murdered"" ME:.. 911: [dial tone]"
"Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Sister : Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Brother : Because the people would think I am F**king you."
"No toilet paper. My training kicks in. I barrel roll under the stall & onto the lap of the person in the next stall. I did not plan for this"