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Joke of the Day

"I think I could make a pretty decent living as one of those people in infomercials who have immense difficulty performing everyday tasks."

"Who's your friend?"

"My dog keeps whimpering at her empty food bowl. So I put her in another room. I'm not sure what that bowl did to her, but it's obvious it upset her."

"I looking a a good joke about Canada I need a joke about Canada for my Canadian co-worker. Please help."

"I'd rather have Samuel L Jackson narrate my life.. No offense, Morgan Freeman.. My life requires multiple uses of the word m 0therfcuker."

"If there's another explanation for my gray hairs other than I'm turning into a polar bear, I don't want to hear it. Don't ruin this for me."

"The Internet is the world's greatest source of things you don't really need."

"Why did Hitler prefer apples to oranges? He didn't like the juice."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three Hos."

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband came early. Premature ejaculation is killing our sex life."