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Joke of the Day

"If there's another explanation for my gray hairs other than I'm turning into a polar bear, I don't want to hear it. Don't ruin this for me."

"A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"Why are Women and Children evacuated first in a Disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence."

"""Here, drink this."" - Me speed dating."

"What do you call a constipated detective? No shit sherlock."

"They say Ronda Rousey isn't much of a wrestler... But you'll be amazed when you see her box."

"There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom."

"How does a Jew greet their friends? ""Challah!"""

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back 4 seconds."

"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Apparently it's an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."