70716

Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why we give bad kids coal. Isn't coal what minors want?"

"Officer! That guy threw sodium chloride at me! Police officer: That's a salt!"

"So I just wrote a test on the Periodic table of Elements It went berylliumtly"

"What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.? Call Baltimore, M.D."

"I started a company... I started q company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof"

"First world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I can't type!"" Third world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I'll have to amputate them!"""

"If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do."

"A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er."

"How do you know if you're making out with a french horn player? They keep trying to put their hand up your butt."

"Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince."