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Joke of the Day
"A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er."
Next Joke
"Lost airport chameleon finally found after hiding in plane site"
"Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""
"My wife asked me if I knew the difference between ignorance and apathy...... I told her I don't know, and I don't care."
"What did the dog take when he was run down? The license number of the car that hit him."
"Me: Yeah like that, baby. Him: *caresses my back, plays with my hair* Me: *moans* Him: *growls* I'm gonna do so many-- Me: *snores, drools*"
"Does anyone have the owner's manual for a wife? Mine's emitting a terrible whining noise."
"Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff."
"Did you hear about the human cannonball? First day on the job, he was fired."
"Life is like a box of chocolates... When you've reached the end you feel sick, ashamed, and you just want to die."