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Joke of the Day

"First world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I can't type!"" Third world problems: ""My fingers are frozen! I'll have to amputate them!"""

"""Kumail. Kumail. K. U. M. No. M. Just write Jason."" - me right after ordering coffee"

"Stalin and Hitler Stalin: Hey Hitler, Wanna Hear a Joke? Hitler: Sure Broh Stalin: Stalingrad Hitler: I Don't Get It Stalin: Exactly"

"Who built King Arthur's round table Sir Cumference"

"Just ordered a non-fat pumpkin spice latte & now I drive a Prius & am a Zumba instructor."

"CLOUD: wow im honored, no one ever flies up here to visit me up in the sky HELICOPTER: well im a gigantic fan"

"""You can't teach a dog new tricks."" - bad dog trainer"

"""Look, daddy! I'm a doctor!"" ""Did you know that's the same doctor kit I played with as a ki... OMG YOU DIDN'T LICK ANY OF IT, DID YOU?"""

"What did the one llama say to the other before they went on vacation? ALPACA BAG"

"Did you hear about the photographer that got locked in his darkroom? He died of exposure. It was not a pretty picture."