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Joke of the Day

"Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk."

"Did you hear about the man whose vape device exploded while he was smoking it? It was a mind-blowing experience."

"I now determine the days of the week based on Twitter. Is it Follow Friday yet?"

"What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd? Masterchief"

"Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber? Char-Jar Binks"

"A message to all you deceased American voters... Vote Early, and Vote Often."

"A bee is willing to end it's own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness."

"There's a girl that I hate in my office that's white but looks like 'Precious'. I've been calling her ""Pressure"" & blaming my farts on her."

"What happens when lawyers die? They lie still."

"No one laughed at my joke I wrote on the wall of the toilet stall... I guess I need to work on my toilet humor."