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Joke of the Day

"No one laughed at my joke I wrote on the wall of the toilet stall... I guess I need to work on my toilet humor."

"A blonde walks into a library... ba dum tss thank you, thank you"

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? It was 2 tired..."

"Top-down is the right way to wash just about anything... ...but apparently not convertibles."

"Your clothes will never forgive you... You always hang them out to dry."

"Mars and NASA Mars: Come over NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away Mars: I'm wet NASA: I'm coming over"

"The package says ""Do not eat raw cookie dough"" but all I really see is ""Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."""

"When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies?"

"Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate."

"Remember how they drove in 90's TV sitcoms...the horribly fake steering wheel turning - left right left right? That's how I actually drive."