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Joke of the Day
"What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas? Cancer."
Next Joke
"First year my husband didn't give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I'm fat. I know it."
"How do you know you've been making too many jokes? When the wordplay becomes wordwork."
"Each year millions of innocent lives are lost when they accidentally board the wrong plane bound straight for the waiting mouth of a child."
"I had an embarrassing sexual problem with my wife last week - I came too early And found her in bed with someone else"
"Why did the chef take a job at a soup kitchen? Because they had great stock options."
"What does Beyonce bake her cookies on? Aluminatti foil"
"COW: I'm constipated DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol C: ur doing puns right now? DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao"
"""Dude go make the first move on her!"" ""Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing."" *approaches girl* ""Knight to f3"""
"Me: Will I be happy in 2017? (peers into crystal ball) Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN Psychic: I don't know; I've never seen one explode before"