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Joke of the Day

"""Dude go make the first move on her!"" ""Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing."" *approaches girl* ""Knight to f3"""

"What do you call iron man and silver surfer when they work together? Alloys."

"What did Santa give the blind, autistic, paraplegic kid with down syndrome for Christmas? Cancer."

"Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat? She wanted to wash up on shore"

"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus."

"My psychiatrist said I'm crazy. I told him, ""I demand a second opinion!"" He said, ""Ok, you're ugly, too."""

"Jared Fogle of Subway told his wife she didn't have to worry about the Ashley Madison leaks... ...he was on Club Penguin."

"Best joke ever I used to cry when my dad cut up onions Onions was a good dog"

"How many feminists? How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."

"Just found out I'm colorblind it came out of the yellow."