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Joke of the Day

"I had an embarrassing sexual problem with my wife last week - I came too early And found her in bed with someone else"

"They say you can get to a man's heart through his stomach... Unless he's a vegetarian. Then you can get there through his vagina."

"What kind of jackets do Audiophiles wear? FLAC jackets"

"""Oooh look! Is that a comet?"" - Well, actually the airport is real close by ""Oh ok. Good idea. I'll call them and ask"""

"ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*"

"I'm a Chemical Engineer and I have some good Chemistry jokes. ... but I never get a good reaction."

"If the opposite of con is pro... ...the opposite of constitution has to be prostitution."

"A joke I just made... ""I just invented a new word... plagiarism"""

"sisters take a selfie crank http://grabfile.co/189159"

"Today I learned that 48% of women in the U.S. are battered... and to think I've been eating mine plain for all these years."