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Joke of the Day

"First year my husband didn't give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I'm fat. I know it."

"What's the best part of having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of 'em."

"How can you get 20 jews into a VW Beetle? Easy - just use the ashtray"

"What do you call it when an amputee does Karate? Partial Arts! :)"

"My daughter just asked me about UpBro! Lol Can you believe it?"

"""WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY 40 POUNDS OF SPINACH?"" Me: I cooked it for you. It's over there, on that teaspoon."

"I was at the doctor today and he told me he needed a urine sample, a stool sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear."

"Great wine is like great jazz... It confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same. EDIT: Front page? Hot damn! Now what do I do with my life?"

"For sale, homeless man. Still in box"

"I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup... I didn't know if he was friend or pho."