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Joke of the Day

"Who was the roundest member of Sir Arthurs round table? Sir Cumference. He at too much Pi. He ate approximately 3.142 slices"

"I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me."

"There's furniture items that allow SFW swearing. That's sofa king nice."

"If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision."

"Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that."

"What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money? Blacking out and gaining money."

"What do you call an emo band without any Jewish members? Fall Out Goy"

"If you type in ""google"" in google search, it shows you pictures of your grandkids"

"Bosses are like diapers... Always on your ass and normally full of shit"

"Tofu is really overrated It's just a curd to me."