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Joke of the Day

"Mexican Word of the Day... Ebola ""Today he went bowling and ebola perfect game!"""

"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Tentacles."

"I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there."

"A student walks into class late... Teacher: ""Why are you late?"" Student: ""While I was coming, I saw a sign that said **School ahead. Slow down.**"""

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but fuck you."

"[pulls out acoustic guitar at a funeral] alright everyone stop being all [finger quotes] sad this next 1 is dedicated to a very sexy widow."

"I would tell you jokes about perfect girlfriends But you wouldn't get them"

"Why did the nazi work in the animal hospital after the war? He was a veteran Aryan."

"Babies are fucking idiots and we totally act like that's okay."

"How did pirates communicate before the internet? Pier to Pier Networking"