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Joke of the Day

"You should be able to pick a theme for your Facebook movie... Because some of you should need to pick drama..."

"So two mushrooms walk into an elevator. One turns to the other and says, ""There's not mushroom in here is there?"""

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella while it was raining That takes the amount of girls I've made wet to -1"

"There are days & nights where I'm surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house."

"I once told a chemistry joke There was no reaction"

"Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way."

"My friend recently started a career as a hitman... I hear he's making a killing."

"Funny prank: stay over at a friend's house and die on their couch."

"I used to be a gynecologist... But after I started shaking, they wouldn't stop following me home."

"I would tell you about my penis... But its a long story"