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Joke of the Day

"You should be able to pick a theme for your Facebook movie... Because some of you should need to pick drama..."

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"What did one saggy boob say to the other? ""We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"""
"I seared steaks in our home without adequate ventilation. Now there's a delightful and very visible meat cloud hanging over us."
"My sex life..."
"Why is the Mars Rover banned from pet stores? Curiosity killed the cat."
"Recipe for homemade charcoal: 1. Put dinner in the oven. 2. Sit down to check one quick thing on the internet..."
"My 3 moods: 1. I'm too tired for this shit 2. I'm too old for this shit 3. I'm too sober for this shit"
"How can you tell an introverted Techie from an extroverted Techie? An extroverted Techie looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you."
"If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet. If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested."
"If I was a hot chick. I'd open my legs so wide I'd be able to fit all four of my Ferraris in my snatch."
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