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Joke of the Day

"There are days & nights where I'm surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house."

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"I fucked a bitch at work today and guess what happened? Pet store fired me"
"I made a miniature lemon-lime pie... It was a little tart"
"Why did the violinist go to jail? For fingering A Minor."
"Hillary and Donald are out in a rowboat. The boat capsizes. Who get saved? The United States of America"
"What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A Tire."
"What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! Woof"
"Dark humor is a lot like fresh drinking water... Not everyone gets it."
"Accidentally picked up two traffic cones instead of my children again"
"Pizza jokes are all about delivery."