7048

Joke of the Day

"My doctor gave me six months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill. He gave me another six months."

"Doctor how much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten Ten what? Doctor: Nine"

"Friends are like trees. If you chop them down with an axe they will die."

"Q: What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human? A: Lettuce pray"

"The only way Congress will ever pass common sense gun control is if they're threatened at gunpoint"

"What did the gay guy, say to the man at the bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"I bought my son a pet snake and the salesman said ""Be careful those snakes grow up to 20 feet"" I said ""Shut up...snakes don't grow feet!!!!"""

"Why wasn't Rome built in a day? Because it was a government job."

"Everyone lies on their resume but I fear I may have gone overboard with 'immortal' and 'shoots lasers from eyes' and 'hardworking'."

"donald trump's immigration policy If he doesn't use #Mexit when describing his immigration policy it will be a missed opportunity."