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Joke of the Day

"The only way Congress will ever pass common sense gun control is if they're threatened at gunpoint"

"You know what really breaks my heart? Cholesterol."

"i think a group of white people should be called a brunch."

"No thanks resolutions, if I wanted to be reminded of everything I didn't follow through on at the end of the year, I'd get married again."

"If I stabbed someone with icicle, no one would find the murder weapon, because it melts. This thought is haunting me."

"What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist!"

"Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3."

"How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope."

"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? BOO'S."

"One of my peers asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. After struggling to come up with an answer, I decided to go get laser eye surgery. Now I've got 2020 vision...."