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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human? A: Lettuce pray"

"It's already the second week of January and I'm still writing 1983 on my checks."

"I heard there are only 140 characters allowed on Twitter, but that can't be true. I've been on there before - almost everyone is a character."

"Why did the chickens cross the border? Because they were Turkish."

"I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, ""You once told me..."""

"What did the dyslexic traveller say when he arrived at an unknown station? Whoops, wrong sub."

"""We are the 1%!"" - People on MySpace"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last very long for fat people"

"I hate the lack of entertainment on westjet flights It's driving me bored-air-line crazy"

"Did you hear about the man who burnt down a field full of beans? He really razed some pulses."